32 Random Facts about Steve

It's time for some "getting to know you" here on Kibbles and Knits. Since I've been gone for so long, and I was challenged by another bloggy friend of mine to do a "100 Things About Me" section of my blog. I couldn't come up with 100. I'm not that exciting. It was a hard enough coming up with 32. Why 32? Because that's how old I am. I figure I'm allowed 1 "interesting" (and I use that term loosely, believe me) thing about myself for every year I've been alive. Any more than that and a) I'm narcissistic (although I have a blog, so one could make that assumption anyway) and b) you'd stop reading after awhile. Hell, I don't blame you. Who wants to read a list of 100 things about anyone? No one is that interesting.

Oh, and Steve (from the title) = me. That's another story for another day. So here we go.

1. I have never seen one episode of The Simpsons

2. Whenever I go to buy gas, or am leaving a tip at a restaurant, the total HAS to be a rounded dollar. If I am pumping as and it stops at $12.01, I will go up to $13.00 if possible. If not, $12.50. Same with leaving a tip. I don't think I am the only one who does this.

3. I bruise like a peach, and am a total klutz. My legs and arms are always covered in bruises. Sometimes I like to tell people "he had to tell me twice". It's not always funny. In fact, domestic violence is never funny. But sometimes my jokes are.

4. I don't like people touching my feet. At all. Ever. When I go get pedicures, I have to have several drinks prior. And I still giggle and laugh like an idiot.

5. I do not care for Pierce Brosnan. "Hate" is a strong word. But you get what I'm saying.

6. I have read all of the Harry Potter books at least 3 times. I'm sure I will read them all again someday.

7. I live near arguably the best city in this country for live music (Austin, TX) and I rarely go downtown. It's a shame.

8. I've never seen the movie Mary Poppins. I've discussed this before on my blog, and I still haven't bothered to watch it. I guess I don't really think I'm missing anything.

9. If you clicked on the Mary Poppins link and read that post, you would have seen another confession of mine at the bottom of the page: I don't like pizza. This shocks people to no end. I kept it a big secret for many years, because people would literally be dumbfounded when I told them. Still are. I guess I need to do an entire blog dedicated to my distaste for pizza. There is a story to be told there. And a little bit of redemption for me.

10. Two things will always make me laugh, no matter how old I get. Farts and falling. I'm sorry. It's always going to be funny when someone falls down (unless, of course, they're seriously hurt, but for that one split second before I find out that they cracked their skull, I'm going to laugh - sorry, just keepin' it real), and it's always going to be funny when someone farts.

11. I love cheesy 70s and 80s pop/rock music like REO Speedwagon, Chicago, Air Supply, Queen, Styx, Journey.

12. I believe in aliens. Not in a creepy sense (if that's possible), but in the sense that I think it's pretty arrogant of us humans/earthlings to believe that we are the ONLY species out there. It's a pretty darn big galaxy, and there's a lot more out there that I'm sure we don't know about. I believe that somewhere, somehow there are other living organisms of some sort. Do I think they're tiny little green men in spacesuits with large glassy black eyes and fly in saucers? No. But I do think there's something out there.

13. And for that matter, I think our government knows more than they tell us.

14. I went streaking once in January. This was years ago, up in Michigan. The weather was unseasonably warm, and some friends and I went streaking on the golf course at the country club.

15. I'm terrified of Canadian Geese.

16. Despite that, I'd love to live in Canada. God's Country up there. It's so beautiful and clean up there. The people are so nice and friendly and talk so funnily! The beer is strong and delicious, and they love hockey and curling, 2 of the best sports. It's a shame it's so damn cold there. I don't do cold.

17. I talk to my dogs like they are people, and I use voices to carry on their halves of the conversations. They're my best friends.

18. I know all the words to "American Pie" by Don McLean.

19. If I were going to go lesbian (and I'm not, but IF I were), here's the short list: Elisabeth Shue, Ashley Judd, Rachel McAdams, Michelle Obama.

20. You know how people ask if you're a morning person, or an evening person? I'm pretty sure I'm neither. I'm tired in the morning, and I'm tired in the evening. Should I be alarmed? My best hours are between 9 and 3. Anything before or after that and I'm essentially worthless.

21. Olive Garden commercials very much displease and annoy me to no end.

22. I love to make and re-make lists. Can you tell?

23. I'm obsessed with all things Vera Bradley.

24. Chewbacca was my first love. If you know this story, consider yourself amongst my closest friends.

25. I always check the backseat of my car when I get in. You never know who might be hiding back there. A murderer waiting to attack? Jason Bateman waiting to propose marriage? Ed MacMahon with a big check? Wait, is Ed MacMahon dead? Rest in Peace.

26. I hate smoking, smoke, smokers. I think my mom thinks I used to secretly smoke. Many years ago she found a pack of cigarettes in my purse. They were my boyfriend's. I tried explaining that to her, but she didn't believe me. MOTHER, LISTEN HERE. I'm 32 years old and have no reason to lie to you. Those cigarettes were Matt's! Not mine!

27. My biggest pet peeve is when people say "supposably". That's not a word, geniuses.

28. I used to want to convert to Judaism, and I was obsessed with All Things Jewish.

29. I took classical violin lessons for many years. I used to be pretty good, but these days I suck. I wish I'd kept up with it.

30. I've had so many nicknames over the years, I've lost track. Among my favorites are: Cake, Caps, The Chip and the latest - Trash Bag.

31. I have a pillow named Norma that I've had since I was a small child, and I have a hard time sleeping without it.

32. I like to cook, and think I'm pretty darn good at it. This was not always the case. Once, years and years ago (over 10), my Aunt Suz and I were supposed to be in a cooking contest against each other. She's a notoriously bad cook also. My uncles had set up a whole plan, and were planning on judging whose cooking was better. The contest was to take place in January. Then, Christmas rolled around. My food assignment for that year was the make an appetizer. Suz's was to make a dessert. This was not part of the contest, mind you, but simply what we were supposed to bring to my mom's house for Christmas dinner. I wowed and dazzled my family with a delicious sausage appetizer thingy (which my cousin affectionately named "Arf Loaf"), and Suz showed up with a bag of Mini-Snickers. FOR CHRISTMAS DESSERT. The contest was called off. I was declared the winner by default, and Suz is now asked to bring paper products and ice to family gatherings.

So there you have it! A little glimpse into the batshitcraziness that is me. It's good to be back.

Walking. It's hard for some people.

A long time ago I came to terms with the fact that I will never be an award winning athlete. Or dancer (in the official sense, anyway). Or walker. Let's just call a spade a spade: I won't be winning any awards when it comes to movement of any kind. I'm just not coordinated. Not even a little bit. Growing up, my legs were constantly covered in bruises, and I would often wonder if I was being abused, and just didn't realize it. Turns out, I was abusing myself. By walking. Into things. And tripping over them.

Some things you don't outgrow, and my lack of coordination is one of them. In fact, certain characteristics become more defined as you get older, and I've got my coordination issues down to an art. I'm almost so uncoordinated that it's graceful. If you can believe that.

Why, just last month I was cleaning out the bathroom and I left open the under sink cabinet door, turned my back for one minute to put something away, and when I turned back around, went to walk out of the bathroom and SMACK. Walked right into the open door.

It hurt like a bitch. The faint marking of the bruise is still visible on my right thigh. A month later. Oh also? I had to straighten the stack of towels in the cupboard before I took the picture. And hi Aggie! She like to know my whereabouts at all times. She is a mommy's dog.

Last Friday at school, I went to pick up a student from her classroom and take her to my room to work on some goals with her. That pretty much sums up my entire day at school and what I do. Go from student to student and work with them on whatever areas they are lagging behind. Mostly this is done with bilingual students. Si, yo hablo.

So I'm going to get this girl, whose classroom is upstairs, and I'm carrying with me a bucket full of learning supplies and things (games, crayons, stickers, worksheets, flashcards, you get the

picture). I'm walking up the stairs, almost to the top, and somehow, I have no idea how or why, but somehow I manage to trip. On my feet? My pants? The stairs? Air? All plausible answers. Anyway I don't know, but I tripped and I fell. HARD. Going UP the stairs, mind you.

I mean, I bit the dust something awful. I'm pretty sure a sound emitted from my mouth that

went like this "Uuuuumphhhhohcrapaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhllllllllerrrrrrrrrrrg". And then a whimper. And then I looked up, looked around to see if anyone had seen me take the digger. Thankfully, no one was around. I breathed a sigh of relief and sat on the steps to take a moment and feel sorry for myself. I felt pain searing through my knee. I honestly don't think I could have gotten up and walked at that moment.

Just then, the teacher whose room is at the top of the stairs, and therefor nearest to where I had just fallen, stuck her head out of her door and said, "Oh my gosh, we all just heard you fall, are you OK?"

Busted. Now, I know she was well meaning and concerned. But what I wanted to tell her was "If you heard me fall all the way in your classroom, NO I AM NOT OK." And also, "I was perhaps

OK until about 10 seconds ago when you asked me if I was OK, and now I am embarrassed as hell because I can't walk and oh great, here comes your class in the hall to see what the ruckus was. Hey kids!"

Instead I think I mustered up a weak smile and uttered something about being clumsy, and yes I'm fine. She went back in her room and I stayed there on the stairs for another minute or so, looking in my bucket to see if the last of my dignity had perhaps fallen in there under a glue stick. No such luck. I hobbled my way to collect my student, and then stumbled my way to the nurse's office to get an ice pack and throw back half a bottle of Motrin. My knee swelled up to the size of a softball, and it hurt to walk for the rest of the morning.

Here we are, 4 days later, and the bruises have come to full color, much like the autumn leaves. So I thought I'd share some pictures of the damage. It's not easy to try and take pictures of your own leg, so these aren't the best quality, and Lord knows I'm no Ansel Adams in the best of circumstances. So cut me some slack.

The majority of the damage is there, on the bottom of the left knee cap. The fall broke the skin, but it didn't bleed, so it's mostly just a big bad bruise. I think when I fell, somehow, my thighs broke my fall. Thank goodness they are nice and meaty. Both of my thighs have large bruises in relatively the same spot, so I think they took a hit on the step above, after the knee got the initial blow.

It's harder to make out the bruise in this picture, but I think you can see, it's large. I was reading in bed the other night and The Cowboy said something to me and gave me a nice hearty pat on the leg. I almost punched him in the nuts, it hurt so bad.

I'll keep practicing my walking, and maybe one day I will get it right. Probably not, but a girl can wish. I should probably wear some kind of protective gear, and this is exactly why I don't ride my bike or use my roller blades, both items I insisted I needed, that now take up space and collect dust in the garage. It's not just recreation with me - it's life or death.

Who, me?

I know, I know. I haven't been here for you. And you're upset. You're sad. You're feeling empty. Alone. Disappointed. Well, you shouldn't rely on a blog to give you so much reassurance for crying out loud. Ok really, I'm sorry. I know I've been MIA, and the truth is that I don't even have a good excuse. I've just been....BLAH. Truth is, I think I've come down with a bad case of the S.A.D. You know, the Seasonal Affective Disorder. And even that, though honest, is not a good excuse because the weather here hasn't been awful. It's been OK. A little chilly, a few days with some ice on my car, but let's face it. I don't have it bad compared to those poor bastards I call "family" who live in Michigan and have to deal with snow every other day and temperatures that drop below 0 and stay there for a few days in a row.



So really, what I'm trying to say is, I'm lazy. I didn't have anything to blog about and even if I did, I didn't feel like blogging. But just so you don't feel left out of the loop of my life, here is a quick run-down of the goings-on for the past few weeks. This is in no particular order.



- signed up for a sewing class


- signed up for a book club


- got my hair done (and my hairdresser did NOT talk to me about politics this time, thank you very much)


- bought some clearance shoes at Target for $6.00


- had a huge, painful zit on my chin and asked God why the zits couldn't end when my adolescence did


- ate an ice cream sandwich for breakfast


- tried a new dinner at Taco Night (Enchiladas Blancas) and regretted it.....for a long time.....later that evening.....


- knitted the same scarf for the past 4 weeks; seriously, a simple garter stitch scarf; am totally burnt out on knitting


- went to a wine store/tasting with a friend and her 6 month old baby; got looked at funny.


- ate at the new Carl's Jr. restaurant by our house 3 times


- fell out of a folding chair while cleaning a book shelf; bruise leg bad; hurt to walk for several days

So as you can see, you haven't missed much.

Now here's the good news. I always start my new year's resolutions on February 1st. I don't really feel like explaining WHY right now, but it has to do with the fact that January 1st is when everyone else does it, and there's so much pressure on that date, and I just don't like it. So....... that means several things. First, my sweater, obviously. I made a trip to the yarn store today, and it was not very productive. Details to follow in another blog.

Second, a new weekly feature I will have on my blog pertaining to......drum roll please.....American Idol!!!! I'm not ashamed. I love it. And Hollywood week is upon us, and then the finals, which I love. So every week I will give my Weekly Recap of All Things Idol. This is a carry over from an Idol e-mail group that I started several years ago that consists of some friends and family members who all enjoy the Idol. This way, I figure, everyone can enjoy my witty observations.

I have to go now. Writing this blog has really taken it out of me. But I promise to be here more for you now, in the days ahead.