Recipe: Shrimp Salad

Recipe time! I've been thinking a lot about various recipes I want to post here, and I have several in the queue. I'm excited to share them. Today's recipe is more of a summer time salad, but I've only missed the official summer cut-off by 4 days, and here in Texas it still feels like summer, so I'd say we're all good. This salad is fast, easy and super yummy. It is my friend Christy's recipe, so thanks Christy for allowing me to share it! And sorry I forgot to ask first. I figure it's always easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission.

So, for shrimp salad you will need the following ingredients:

1 pound shrimp*
1/2 bag pasta of your choosing (I like the small shells)
1 cucumber
1 green pepper
4-5 green onions
1/4 to 1/2 bag frozen peas (depending on the size of the bag and how much you like peas, I happen to like them a lot)
1/2 cup mayo
1/2 cup Ranch dressing

*The shrimp. Here's the deal - depending on the size of the shrimp you get, you have several options. This time around I bought the tee-tiny super adorable witty bitty baby swimps. Usually I just get regular sized shrimp and cut them in half. But you can leave whole shrimps in there if that's how you roll. I prefer for everything to be bite size. I am all about aesthetics. Also, the little shrimp I bought this time was pre-cooked and frozen, so I didn't have to cook them. I highly recommend going with a pre-cooked shrimp, but if you got something else on sale (and I get it, shrimp is expensive), then you'll have to boil the shrimp first and allow it to cool. I said this recipe was easy, right? Maybe I lied.

To make the salad, boil water and cook noodles according to directions. Cut up all your veggies into bite size pieces, pretty much the same size. Here's a picture of my veggies all cut up and waiting.

How green and pretty! You can see why this would make a good spring/summer salad. Oh, and the peas? I don't even cook them, I just toss them in frozen from the bag. They will thaw out in no time.

Once the noodles are done, drain them and allow them to cool. They don't have to be cold, just cool to the touch. Once you add them in to all the cool crisp veggies, they'll cool down even more.

I don't know why I've included a picture of the noodles cooling in the strainer. It's a completely useless picture.

Toss the noodles, shrimp and veggies together in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl or large measuring glass, mix the Ranch and mayo together. I use light Ranch and light mayo. I figure no one needs that much dressing in their lives. Some people don't believe in light Ranch or light mayo, and think it's a sin against food. Do what you like. Either way, whisk them together until there are no more lumps. Think of it like gravy. No one wants the lumps.

And now just toss the dressing in with the salad. You'll want to kind of eyeball it and maybe only add a little dressing at a time. You can always add more, but you can't take it away. Don't make it too soupy - this is supposed to be light! Just mix until it's well combined, chill for an hour and serve!

It makes great leftovers, too. The longer it sits the better it gets. Yum!! This is a great light lunch. Christy served it at our last book club and it was fantastic! If you're hosting a book club or ladies lunch or something, this is a great recipe. Thanks again, Christy!

Recipe: Mexican Chicken Dump

There are certain words I try to avoid using when I'm talking about food I'm cooking or eating. Among them are the aforementioned scum, the worst word in the world - moist, and the word I just used in the title of this blog - dump. Juicy is also on the list - unless you're talking about a peach, plum or other stone fruit, but even then it's not my favorite descriptor.

The reason this recipe is called Mexican Chicken Dump, however, is because you literally just dump all the ingredients in the Crock Pot, walk away, do something, come back 6-8 hours later, and Voila*! Dinner is ready. Another suitable name or it would be Mexican A Monkey Could Make This Chicken. So you can call it whatever you like.

Have you become one with your Crock Pot yet? My Crock and I had a love-hate relationship for a long time. I tried to make things, it would burn them, I would cry and hate it. Ok it was more of a hate-hate relationship. I wanted to love it, but it wouldn't let me. I think I had a faulty Pot, though, because once I burned something so bad the Pot couldn't be recovered (that was a very dark day in my life), so I bought a new one and since that day I haven' t burned one thing.

So if you are like me, and struggling with your CP, this recipe is for you. You can't screw it up. I

have made this countless times, and it always comes out perfect. It's simple, it's delicious, and you can use the product for lots of different things. I know a lot of people out there

already make this, but just in case you haven't heard of this before - here you go.

In your CP, dump the following items:

4-6 chicken breasts, FROZEN (don't be scared, it's ok, they will cook up nicely and not dry out)

1 large jar salsa (I use Pace Picante Sauce)

1 can corn, drained

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained (even if you think you don't dig on black beans, add them - you can't really taste them and along with the corn it gives the dish a nice color)

I have a CP with time settings - 4, 6, 8 or 10 hours. I've cooked it on every setting except 4 hours, and it's always come out good. If you only have high or low settings, I'd go with low.

Once it's done cooking, pull the chicken breasts out of the crock pot and shred them with 2 forks. Add the shredded meat back into the CP and allow it a few minutes to soak up some of the liquid (if your sauce is a little watery, it's ok, the meat will soak it up). About 5 minutes should do it.

Now, you have a choice. The chicken in the pot is ready to eat, and is great as a taco, or as a taco salad. But I like to be really obscene, so at this stage, I add some cream cheese. Oh yes. Cream cheese.

Just a little - less than a half a block, and I used the light stuff this time (not always the case). Cut it up into little bits and allow it another 5 minutes to melt. Give it all a good stir. The cream cheese adds just a touch of richness and creaminess, and it's heaven. Oh, there's another word I don't like when talking about food: creamy. Ick. But this stuff is good.

I serve it with warm tortillas and Spanish rice.

And yes, I use the rice out of the paper package. Go ahead and do it - it tastes good

and this meal is supposed to be easy for you.

Mmmm Mmmmm Good! Mexican Chicken Monkey Dump! Hope you make it and enjoy it!

*I used to work with a woman who would frequently say "Voila" about pretty much anything. However, she actually said it phonetically, so she was saying "Voy-lah" instead of "Wah-lah", which of course is how it's pronounced. It really got on my last good nerve and I never did tell her how it drove me up the wall. Every time she said it, I cringed.

Gobble Gobble

Have you seen the recent commercial for Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup? The one where the girl is calling up the "Progresso Hotline" and asking to speak to someone because she is certain that this is her grandmother's soup she's eating? Every time I see that I feel sad for the girl, if that is what her grandmother's chicken noodle soup tastes like. I'm not hating on Progresso. As far as canned chicken noodle soups go, I find it to be among the best. But it shouldn't have the same name as real, good, homemade chicken noodle soup.

And in my case, it doesn't. My grandmother's homemade chicken noodle soup is affectionately referred to as "Gobbles" in my family. The reason for this, I've received confirmation, is because she used to make it after Thanksgiving with leftover turkey. Hence, the gobble. But she would

also make it with chicken at other, less turkified times of the year, but still called it Gobbles. Hey, whatever. It works in our family and the soup is damn delicious, so I don't care what you call it.

That's my Gram there on the right. And her sister, my great aunt Hazel on the left. Let's just

take a moment and reflect upon how awesome grandparents in general are. Now, please understand that I'm not trying to boast or make anyone out there feel inferior, but let me assure you now that my grandmother is the best grandmother ever. She could kick all your grandmother's asses. She could. Trust me. And now let's take a moment in

advance and thank this woman for her soup, the recipe of which I'm about to share with you. Thank you Gram! You could show those Progresso people a thing or two about soup.

Here are the ingredients you will need for Gobbles.

1/2 roaster chicken

3 carrots

4 celery stalks

1 medium onion

parsley flakes (or fresh parsley)

salt and pepper to taste

noodles (of your choosing, but if you want it Gobbles style, we use medium shells. I don't know why, but I've learned to just trust in the recipe and go with it)

That's it! 7 ingredients and it's perfection in a bowl. So let's get started.

First, the chicken. Now ordinarily I buy a roaster chicken and cut it in half. But on this particular occasion, the grocery story didn't have any roaster chickens. (What the hell kind of grocery story doesn't have roaster chickens? Seriously. Maybe there was a sale and I missed it or something).

So I bought a cut up whole chicken. Hey, it saved me the work. This would also be acceptable if

you have an aversion to cutting up a chicken. Either way, for a regular batch of soup, you only need half the bird, so I only used half of the pieces, and froze the rest. Perfect for more Gobbles another time.

Go ahead and rinse that bird off, just briefly. Then toss it in a large stock pot with a lid. Like so.

And cover the chicken with water. Like so.

Cover with the lid and bring it to a boil. The nature of the chicken and the fact that you're using all the pieces, including the fat, will cause there to be a little bit of a foamy scum at the top of the pot when it boils. I don't like to use the word scum when I'm talking about something I'm going

to eat - but I also can't think of a better word for it. See for yourself.

It's not a big deal, and it's not really all that gross, but I usually get rid of it. Use a spoon and scoop it off. You aren't losing any flavor from it, I promise. Let the chicken boil in the pot uncovered for 2 hours. During this 2 hours, you will add your vegetables. I usually add them

after an hour - so about halfway through.

There's our veggies. It's a mirepoux. That is a shout out to my friend Heather and The Mad Chef. Whoops, looky there I used 4 carrots and I told you you only needed 3. Well I like carrots and no one is the boss of your soup, so use as many as you want. But not too many or then you'll have carrot soup, which by the way, The Mad Chef made a delicious version of.

Moving on. Roughly chop the veggies. I like to see what I'm eating, so I don't cut them too small so that they cook away. About like this.

Also please note that it's extremely important that your veggies don't touch when you put them in the bowl to await their turn in the hot tub. I mean it! I am a veggie segregationist and I do not want them mingling.

When it's their time, toss them in.

The carrots and celery will sink, but the onion will float. I usually season around this time too. I have no measurements to give you. I just toss in some salt and pepper. When in doubt, go light. You can always add more later.

Continue simmering for another hour. And let me tell you - this is when it starts to get good. This is when the house starts to smell wonderful. Like grandmother's houses, and happiness and love and all things warm and fuzzy. You might want to take a nap on the couch. Neighborhood

children will smell the soup from the street and ring your doorbell asking you for some. Turn

them away. They have their own grandmothers. Or better yet, give them a can of Progresso.

A note on the parsley. In my Gram's recipe, she calls for and has always (to my knowledge) used dried parsley flakes. I don't know about you, but I don't keep dried parsley flakes in my

cupboard, because I never use them. Fresh parsley is so flavorful and easy to find, and if I

bought a thing of the dry stuff, it would sit up there for years and I would only use a sprinkle

here and there. And they say dry herbs go bad after 6 months. So, I use fresh parsley. About a handful. I chop it up roughly, and toss it in after the veggies have had a chance to do their thing.

And then just continue cooking. After awhile, you can check the seasonings. If it needs more salt or pepper, go ahead and add more.

Your nose and eyes will tell you when the Gobbles are done. It takes about 2 hours, but it could be more or less, depending on your pot, the amount of chicken, etc. But trust me, you will know.

It will look like this and it will smell better than anything you've ever smelled in your life. You can see here that a bit of the liquid evaporates during the 2 hours. Sometimes I add in a couple

cupfuls of water at this stage. Go ahead and do that if you want. Just make sure to test the

seasonings again and add more salt if it needs it (it usually does). Take the chicken out of the pot, set it aside for a few minutes, until it's cooled down enough that you can handle it.

I use a slotted spoon to make sure I get every little bit of chicken out of the pot. And even

though I do that, it's still possible that a little piece of bone or something is floating in there. It's homemade, after all. Just be careful when you eat it, especially if you give it to little ones.

Separate the chicken pieces - meat, fat, bone. Get in there and dig all the meat out and shred it with 2 forks.

If you only like white meat - hey that's ok. I'm an equal opportunist when it comes to chicken. I know no color. But you do whatever floats your boat. While you are shredding the chicken, bring the soup liquid up to a boil.

Now let's talk about the noodles. I know it's odd to use shells in chicken noodle soup. I have a friend who makes chicken noodle soup, and she swears that the only type of noodle that will do is an egg noodle. I'm sure egg noodles would taste just fine. But I'm not going for fine, dammit, and I'm not making homemade chicken noodle soup, I am making Gobbles. And in Gobbles, we use

medium shells.

Trust in the recipe. Once the soup is boiling, add the shells and cook until the shells are done. Then add in the chicken meat. Taste again - just to make sure - and adjust if necessary.

Look at that deliciousness. Now stand back and give yourself a pat on the back. You just made homemade chicken noodle soup! You just made Gobbles!

Now, to really make it Gobbles, you have to eat it the way we do in my family. With a sprinkle of cheese (Parmesan or Romano) and a handful of croutons. I know it's weird. But it's how we do it.

Just try it. If you don't like it, it's ok. You can eat it however you want. The Cowboy didn't care for the croutons. He didn't like how they got soggy.

So he pushed them all to the side of his bowl and made a little stockpile of croutons. Hey, it's cool. Eat it however you like it. The point is, it is delicious. It is the perfect fall or winter dinner. It is love. It is home. It is my grandmother. Enjoy!

Party Prep

It's awfully early for me to be up and blogging about the Halloween party the night before, which means that either I wasn't drunk enough, or that I didn't have enough to drink.

Which is hard to imagine, given the number of jello shots we made Friday night.

My friends and I do jello shots a little differently. We actually have literal jello "shots".

This is the bag before.

Nothing says "Adult Fun" like a Winne The Pooh bag full of "borrowed" syringes, does it?

Except maybe a counter full of hooch.

We assembled our trusty team of jello shot making professionals: Me, Darnell, Wes, Kevin and Brent. We set up the assembly line, and went to work. Brent is concentrating very hard. Jello Shot Making is a lost art.

Those shots on the left? The pale yellow ones? They are pina colada flavored, and we made them with rum. They are outstanding, and probably the most popular choice amongst Jello Shot enthusiasts, i.e. me and my friends. Because of their pale color and appearance, and also to not confuse them with the Island Pineapple shots (my second fave), we took to calling them "breast milk" shots. My friends and I are very inappropriate that way.

We made some shots.

And we made some more. But we're not done yet!

Dr. Kevin conducted an experiment with the jello shots. It failed.

Done! These are all the jello shots we made. We estimated that we made over 400. For a party of about 25-30 guests. And one of them was pregnant. That's a large shot per person ratio!

Here's a quick little party recipe for you. I make this for a lot of parties and it's always a hit. It couldn't be easier. Even if you have no cooking skillz, you could pull this bad boy off. I promise. It's my Famous Cheese Ball. I think we'll call it that too. So here's the recipe for.....(drum roll please.....ok maybe I am still a little drunk..........)

Caps' Famous Cheese Ball

You will need: 2 packages of cream cheese (don't skimp and get the lite stuff. Come on, it's a holiday), 1 bag of shredded cheddar cheese, 1 package of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing seasoning (the dry stuff), and 1 small package of REAL bacon bits. Please for the love of all things sacred, cheesy and holy, do NOT buy those dehydrated imitation bacon flavored flecks. If you can't find real bacon bits, just leave it out. Really, it will be better than adding that aforementioned crap.

Let the cream cheese soften on the counter for 10-15 minutes before you start.

Basically, you just dump the cream cheese in a bowl, add the ranch dressing packet and about 1/2 - 3/4 of the bag of bacon pieces (you can eyeball it), and then a cup of shredded cheddar cheese and mix it all together.

Form it into a ball.

Put the rest of the shredded cheddar in a bowl, and roll the cheese ball in the shredded cheese, pressing gently to make sure all sides get covered.

Once it's all coated, place it on a plate, or if you have a fancy Halloween themed serving dish/platter, that would be ideal. But I don't. So I just used a plate.

Smush it down just a tad, so that the top is flattened. Like a disc. A cheese disc, if you will.

Now, you decorate! This is the fun part. I used black peppercorns.

Hi Sam!!
Ta Da!!! Cute, huh? I KNOW.

Now, I have to give credit where credit is due. The Cowboy walked in when I was putting the face on and took one look at it and started telling me all the ways I was putting the peppercorns on a cheese ball pumpkin in the wrong fashion. I didn't realize there was a rule book on this type of thing, but by the way he was talking, apparently, he wrote it.

Oh sorry, I was supposed to be giving him credit, right? So yeah, The Cowboy did the face on this one, because mine was "wrong".

Oh, and I used a little slice of bell pepper for the stalk. I just happened to have that in my fridge, but you could use whatever you have. Celery, a stick, what have you.

Now here's the best part - this recipe can be used at other holidays too. For Christmas, I made 3 smaller balls, and instead of rolling the cheese mixture (which is the same) in the cheddar cheese, I roll it in grated Parmesan cheese (who am I kidding, I use the green can stuff and I don't care), and make a snowman!! Then decorate with peppercorn buttons, a carrot nose and cracker hat. If The Cowboy's Rule Book says it's ok that is. You can even do a Thanksgiving turkey. Really, go nuts. Get creative. Eat the cheese. People will love you for bringing it. I always, always serve it with Keebler Town House crackers, which, if I may be honest with you, I think is far superior to Ritz. But you use whatever kinds of crackers you like.

Party pictures to come later today or tomorrow! Good times were had by all! I'm off to take a nap.

Muffins!

I couldn't think of a clever title for this blog, so when in doubt, I say go with the stupidly obvious. Muffins.

Here's the recipe I promised over a week ago. Procrastination is my middle name. Not Elizabeth. So yeah, this recipe comes to me by my Aunt Patti, and I have no idea where she got it, but she reads this blog, so feel free to praise her in the comments section after you've made and devoured these muffins. You'll want to make these muffins each fall season, and you'll want to make them every week. That's what I do. In May, I have dreams about these muffins.

So let's begin.
Here's what you'll need:

Flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, eggs, butter, chocolate chips, canned pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice. Very simple ingredients that, when mixed together, make MAGIC.

First, combine the dry ingredients in a medium sized mixing bowl.

1 2/3 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 T pumpkin pie spice

1 t baking soda

1/4 t each of salt and baking powder

No need to use anything fancy to mix them together. I used a butter knife. We bake ghetto style at our house. Whoops. I spilled some flour on the floor. Good excuse to take a picture of my new Chucks. Low tops. Navy blue. Thanks. Thanks very much.

As for the spill, it's ok, because that is why God invented the Roomba. I highly recommend the Roomba. For reals. If you've got like $400 laying around that you don't know what to spend on, send it to me. And then, if you've got $400 more, buy a Roomba. And thanks for the money.

Back to the baking! Now, you'll want to melt your butter (1 stick, or 1/2 cup). Confession, I use margarine. The recipe calls for butter. I don't buy butter unless I'm making my Gram's Christmas cookies. For everything else, I always have and always will use margarine. It's worked just great for me. But you use whatever floats your boat. Anyway, melt it. Melt it up real nice in the microwave. Surely I don't need to demonstrate melting butter for you people, do I?

Here's what mine looked like. You can see how it's not completely, 100% melted. That's ok. In fact, that's better than butter that's so hot that it's bubbling up. You don't want that, because you don't want the butter to cook the eggs when you mix those ingredients together. Sure, if you're Fancy Pants Chef McGee, you could "temper" the eggs. But I already told you we do it Ghetto Style at Casa Cappydoodles, so I just sort of half melt the butter.

So once your butter or margarine is all the way or sort of half way melted, you mix all the wet ingredients in a large mixing bowl.

1 cup plain, canned pumpkin

1/2 cup (or 1 stick) melted butter or margarine

2 eggs

The knife didn't work so well here, so I used a wooden spoon. A rubber spatula would be a more sensible choice.

Next, you'll want to slowly add the dry ingredients into the wet. I usually do it in 3 small parts. Add, mix. Add, mix. Add, mix. You get the picture. No? Ok, here you go.

Once all your wet and dry ingredients are combined nicely, you can add the chocolate.

The recipe calls for 1 cup of chocolate chips, but I have to be honest. I never measure. When it comes to chocolate, I have a theory. It goes like this:

You can never have enough chocolate.

End of theory.

So I just kind of toss some chips in there, give it a stir, and then add some more if I think it needs more.

For instance. This doesn't look like enough to me.

This is more like it.

Now you can fill your muffin cups. All the cool kids (me) get cute little Halloween themed muffin cups. See?
You're supposed to fill the cups like 2/3 the way full, but I over do everything, and this is no exception.

Oooooh, see that big one? That one has my name on it.

And yes, I do have rusty muffin tins. Don't be so judgemental.

Pop these bad boys in a preheated 350 degree oven and cook them for 25ish minutes. You know, until a toothpick comes out clean.

And while we're waiting for these bad boys to bake up, does anyone else love the song "Keep on Lovin' You" by REO Speedwagon as much as I do? Seriously, I think it's one of the best pop love songs ever written, and I listen to it on repeat quite often. Like right now. It's without a doubt one of my all time favorite songs. What are some of your all time favorite songs? Maybe this is a discussion for another blog. I don't know. But I love this song, and I love how the guy sings with such conviction. He really draws out those 'R's, too. Ya ever notice?

"And I meant every word I said, when I said that I loved you I meant that I love you foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Ding! Muffins are done.

Dang stupid sideways picture ruin everything. But tilt your head for one second and look at that muffin. Mmmmm doesn't that look good. Yes. Yes it does.

Go make some. You'll love them. And I mean every word I say. When I say that you'll love them, I mean that you'll love them foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thanks Aunt Patti!