This cat

Spoiled much?

One herb away from Scarborough Fair

Despite my strange and inexplicable affinity for all things Gnome, my thumb is most decidedly not green. The Cowboy is the gardener in our little family, and that's just fine with me for the most part. I help him here and there when he needs it, but for the most part, I'm a Plant Killer. I come by it naturally, I suppose. Betty Nuggs is a plant killer also. You won't find any green living things in her house, unless it's mold on some old food in the fridge. I'd like to think I'm a little better about having plants and taking proper care of them than my mother. Perhaps not much, and perhaps not at all, maybe I'm just fooling myself, but I have managed to have 3 indoor house plants for several years now, and not kill them.

When it comes to the out of doors, however, I generally turn the reins over to The Cowboy and he does a great job. He comes by his gardening abilities just as naturally as I come by mine - his parents have bananas, oranges, strawberries, tomatoes, okra, and all manner of other edible and non-edible plants growing in their yard. It's like a jungle over there. But in a good way. The Cowboy is the same way. We could open up our own produce stand over here with all the things he plants and grows each year.

We have an apple tree (with one teeny little apple!)

An orange tree with lots of itty bitty oranges!

Garlic

Cucumber plants (which will turn into pickles)

Dewberry bushes (which will turn into jam)

He also has some tomatoes, peppers and lemons back there. And lord knows what else. In addition to some beautiful rose bushes on the side of the house.

Every year I try to plant some herbs and keep from killing them until at least June. I've been mildly successful in the past, and some of that success has carried over from year to year. We couldn't kill our rosemary if we tried.

It's rouge. And 2 years ago I planted some thyme on the side of the house that is still going strong. I never use thyme in my cooking, so it just sit there and looks pretty, but it's growing nicely, and I will take the credit for that despite my lack of watering and pretty much forgetting it's over there.

This year I have once again decided to try my hand, or thumb as the case may be, at growing a little herb garden. I bought seeds for basil, parsley and lavender and planted them in pots. Then I forgot to water them for about a week, but thankfully we had some rain. And miraculously, when I checked on the plants the other day - lo and behold! Hark!

Green! Buds! Plants! Living things!

I can't remember which pot I put what in, so I have 2 out of 3 pots sprouting growth, and I don't have any idea what it is coming up. It's like a fun little mystery! Surprise! We've got basil! Or parsley! Or maybe lavender! Time will tell. Sometimes it pays to have a shitty memory.

My calla lily plants also bloomed nicely this year, despite my best efforts to unintentionally kill them. Perhaps the plants have forgiven me! See here, people of the internets, I will become a World Class Gardener, the likes of which few can ever hope to become. Akin to (insert famous gardener name here)!

Probably not. But if I can make something grow and have some yummy basil to put on the tomatoes The Cowboy grows, I'll be happy. Baby steps.

Speaking of growing things and making jam, it was Jam Central over here today. Jam Master Cowboy and I made 27 jars of strawberry jam. No, we did not grow the strawberries. I got them on sale at my new favorite store, Sprouts. But now we have enough jam to last us until the apocalypse.

I will be sure to keep you all abreast of my gardening triumphs. Please pray for me and for my plants and for rain in case (when) I forget to water them.

So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun

(insert perfunctory apology for ridiculously long absence HERE)

My friend Kellie and I get together about twice a week (and sometimes more) to knit, watch American Idol, drink wine and bitch about life. It's a beautiful thing. This past Sunday was one such occasion, and we made a trip to the local hippy-likesmaller and less pretentious-version of Whole Foods, Sprouts. They're not nation wide yet, and they haven't completely replaced Trader Joe's in my heart, but they're a close second. Trader Joe's, I miss you.

So as we're perusing the aisles and filling our baskets with logs of goat cheese and boxes of crackers, we come upon this little delight.

Chocovine. Anyone? I'd certainly never heard of it, but apparently it's been around. We were intrigued. We both looked at it, looked at each other, and then I placed it in our basket, and without saying another word we moved on. We have that kind of relationship where we understand each other and don't need to discuss the purchase of hilarious chocolate wine drinks. Of course we're going to buy it. As if there was ever any question about it. Never mind that we already had 2 other bottles in our basket. Never fear, we've not had any problems polishing off bottles of wine in the past.

That's a recipe for success, by the way, if you're looking for one. 2 bottles of wine + Casey James and Lee Dewyze + knitting = awesomeness. I had to rip back a bib I was working on because after that second bottle of wine, it was all wonky and had a big hole in it.

But damn, did you see Lee's performance of "Hey Jude"? With the bagpipes? That more than made up for any knitting frustrations I might have had. Lee and I are going to make Idol babies one day. You'll see.

Anyway, I got off subject. The wine. The chocolate wine. The Chocovine. We paid for our purchases and went on our way. When we got back to Kellie's place, we decided to open up another bottle first and refrigerate the Chocovine. Figuring it would be better cold, and also possibly after another bottle of wine.

Wrong on both accounts. It was quite possibly the nastiest stuff I've ever had in my mouth (that's what she said). It sort of tasted like a mud-slide, but worse. It didn't taste AT ALL like wine, and barely like chocolate. It was really gross. To the makers of Chocovine, I am sorry. That shiz is gross. Shame on you for marketing that to poor, unsuspecting drunks like myself and Kellie. I want my $8.99 back. (perhaps that should have been an indicator?)

On the drive home (and don't worry, I waited an appropriate amount of time before driving and ate an inappropriate amount of goat cheese and crackers), I heard one of my favorite John Mayer songs on the radio. And it made me smile. And also made me wax philosophical. If you're not a hard core JM fan, you may not know this song. It's not one they play on the radio often. But it's my favorite of all his songs. And as much as I think that John Mayer the person might be a total douche bag, he's a good song writer, and a great guitarist, and a sexy mo-fo. I'm sorry. That's just how I feel. So anyway, here's the lyrics to the song.

No, I'm not color blind, I know the world is black and white

Try to keep an open mind but I just can't sleep in this tonight

Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can't, but honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go

One generation's length away from fighting life out on my own

Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can't, but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older I'm only good at being young

So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man, said help me understand

He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate

Don't stop this train, don't for a minute change the place you're in

And don't think I couldn't ever understand

I tried my hand, John, honestly, we'll never stop this train

Once in awhile when it's good it'll feel like it should

And they're all still around and you're still safe and sound

And you don't miss a thing 'till you cry when you're driving away in the dark

Singing stop this train, I want to get off and go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can't, cause now I see I'll never stop this train

You can listen to the song here: Stop this train

I don't know what it is about these lyrics that move me so much, but they do. And I thought I'd share that with you.

So that's all I have for you. Bad wine and good music. Oh, and my Etsy store is open - have you noticed? Check out the side bar! If you haven't already, please take a look around. It's been open for nearly a month and so far is doing better than I anticipated. So I'm pleased. I'll be adding more to it later this week, so check back in.

Until we meet again...

Tomorrow is March and I've got to get at least 1 post in for February, so here it is....

I'm going to pretend like it hasn't been over a month since my last post. I'm going to pretend like I've been blogging this whole time, no one has missed me (which, let's face it, is probably the truth), and we will just all go on as usual. Ok? Thanks.

First, an update about my other blog that I told you about in my last post. If you're thinking that it is the reason I haven't been posting here, you're wrong. I've been totally neglecting that blog as well. In fact, I posted on it twice and then just sort of lost steam. See? It's a good thing I didn't tell anyone the address. Now I can just erase it and pretend it never happened. The blog, that is. The weight loss is going great! I'm down about 9 pounds last time I checked, and more importantly, I'm losing inches, so pants that haven't fit me in years are getting a second life! Yippee!!!!

Here is how my February went down.....

My Great Aunt Hazel celebrated her 87th birthday this month, and her children had a party for her up in Dallas. My mom, Betty Nuggs, came down for the festivities, as did several of her siblings. We had a great time eating, laughing, shopping and visiting. Here are some pics from the party.

Me and Nuggs at the party.

Me, mom, aunt, uncle, cousins and Great Aunt Hazel (center). Happy Birthday Aunt Hazel!

I bought some new fabulous cowboy boots while we were in Dallas. Actually, these are my first pair of cowboy boots. Shame on me, I've lived in Texas for nearly 4 years and have never owned a pair. I love these. They are cute and very comfortable.

The Cowboy bought me some beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day. My favorite - calla lilies.

Aggie took up residence in the laundry basket, after we had to throw away her dog bed because she chewed it up. Hopefully the laundry basket lasts a little longer.

My newest knitting creation. It's a scarf made out of a bunch of leftover pieces of yarn from various projects. Thank goodness I hung on to all of them! I tried to make the "theme" of the scarf green, and then threw in some complimenting colors.

Rather than knit this scarf length-wise, as with most scarves, I knit it width-wise. I cast on 180(ish) stitches on size 11 circs and changed yarn every single row. I absolutely love the way this turned out. I have enough odds and ends to make at least one more, possibly two. What will I do with them you ask? Drum roll, please................ I am opening an Etsy store!!! I having been knitting and sewing like crazy lately, (hence no blogging) in an attempt to get a stockpile of things ready to sell in my Etsy store. I am hoping to have everything up and running over spring break - which is 2 weeks away. I will be sure to let you all know when it's open, and post a link. In the meantime, here's a sneak preview. It's my store banner.

Speaking of new exciting things, Lexey Rhea was born this past week!!

Congratulations to proud parents Johnny & Tiff, and big sister Sydney! I can't wait to meet little Lexey.

It snowed in Austin this past week. Like, a lot. Serious accumulation. It's the most snow I've seen down here since I've been here, and I heard it was the most snow that they've seen here since 1985. Here are some pictures, taken from school, where I was stuck all day because they didn't cancel school. Boo.

The kids had a blast, though. We took them outside in the morning and let them run around and play in it. Many of them had never seen actual snow before, so it was fun to watch them. Someone tried to make a snow angel, but there wasn't quite enough snow for that, and it ended up being a dirt angel.

Today, it's sunny and 65. I love this state!!

That's my February in a nutshell. I would promise to try and write more, but we both know I don't mean it. So in case I don't blog again until the end of March, I hope you all have a great month!

2 Dogs, $50.00

Oh, hello. How's the family? Great, great.

I have a confession to make: I've started another blog. I'm cheating on Kibbles and Knits. My other blog is dedicated to my diet, exercise and weight loss program, which began in an official capacity today. I am not ready to go public with this blog yet, but after I lose a bunch of weight and look fabulous and am ready to capitalize on my success, then I will let you all know of the address and you can go read my musings over there as well.

In the meantime, I come to you today with a plea. I have two dogs for sale.

Sam

Aggie

Oh, wait. Did I say for sale? My bad. What I meant is, I will pay you $50.00 to come get these dogs and take them. They are naughty. They are rotten. They cannot behave to save their lives. They do not listen. They smell and they shed all over the house.

They'd make someone a great pet. Please come and take them. I will write you a check, or if you come now, I will give you $60 - cash money.

In the past week, the following occurrences have taken place concerning these 2 dogs.

I come home to find a small pile of vomit in the bedroom. Upon inspection, I notice something white and fluffyish in the vomit. Thinking this is strange, but not completely unusual, and because it's only a small pile of vomit, I don't worry about it. As I step further into the bedroom, I discover 2 more piles of vomit. Rather, I discover one more pile of vomit, and one giant mountain of vomit, which contains a partially eaten and digested man's sock. Further investigation reveals a partially eaten pillowcase from our BRAND NEW BED SET.

Not sure which dog is the culprit, I promptly get them both outside, and clean up the vomit before The Cowboy comes home and I have to clean up more vomit (he has a weak stomach, I've had to clean up both dog vomit and or poop and Cowboy vomit before...it wasn't fun and I don't want to have to do it again any time soon). Later we notice that Sam, the yellow Lab, is licking everything non stop. The carpet, the bedspread, my feet, The Cowboy's hair, you name it. She starts hacking and gagging. We deduce that she is The Mystery Vomiter, and conclude that she had gotten into the trash and eaten something she shouldn't have (unsure as to what), and then proceeded to eat anything in sight, including dirty socks and Brand New Pillows, which I can't imagine tasted anything alike. BAD DOG.

Aggie, on the other hand, rarely does anything wrong. She's just as sweet and nice as she can be. Her only fault is a big one. She's a Husky, which means she's a sled dog, which means she wants to RUN. Our backyard isn't fenced in, and I generally put her on a leash when I let her outside. She runs off from time to time, and I learned my lesson the hard way - right after I moved down here and I let her out in 105 degree weather and she ran off. 2 streets away. And I had to chase her down. In 105 degree heat, did I mention? And my neighbors were laughing at me, and also trying to help me. And I had to carry her home because I didn't have a leash. And it was hot. So, from that day forward, leash. Backyard. You understand.

SO. Saturday night, The Cowboy lets them outside to potty at around 12:30. It's worth noting here that the weather in Texas the past week or so has been the exact opposite of 105 degrees. It's been in the twenties and teens at night, which for Texas is what I like to call Freezing Fucking Cold. So naturally, Aggie chooses this moment to run off. I am sound asleep in the bedroom and I can hear The Cowboy trying to cajole her back inside. I can hear him going in and out of the front door and the sliding glass door in the back. I can hear him saying "Aggie, get in here! Aggie, c'mon!" I hear all this from the comfort and warmth of my bed. I let it go on for 5-7

minutes, no longer than 10, and then I decide that I'm being a big douche bag by not getting up and helping him. She comes back faster if we tag team her.

So I get up, throw on a sweatshirt, a coat, my warm boots, a hat and some gloves, and ask The Cowboy where she is. "In the neighbor's back yard." is his tense reply. Our neighbor's backyard is fenced in, yet they have no dog. We should probably switch houses, or at least yards. The Cowboy is standing in our backyard, and can see Aggie next door at the fence, and she's looking at him, but the dumb dog has no idea how to get back into our yard. The idiot got herself over there, but now she can't figure out how to get back. So I leave The Cowboy in the backyard and tromp around to the front yard, and over to the neighbor's driveway. I don't go into their backyard, and I don't speak too loudly - I don't want to wake them up. I stand there for a minute and call her. Nothing. All of a sudden, I see a light behind me. A flashing light. A red and blue flashing light.

That's right. The law. John Q. The po-po.

The cop walks up and says good evening. Through my chattering teeth (a combination of shivering from the cold, and being nervous about the cops), I tell him that I live next door and my dog is in their backyard and I'm trying to get her out. He's pretty cool about it. Asks me a

few questions about how the dog got out, how she got next door (I'm guessing he has cats), calls it in on his radio that I am not some crazy lady in her pajamas outside trying to kill my neighbors, and helps us get Aggie back. We thank him, and head home. BAD DOG.

And today. This actually is kind of funny, as opposed to naughty, but it just goes to show you that you never know what's gonna happen with dogs. I'm walking Sam through the neighborhood, and I happen to live in the neighborhood right next to school. So I see a kid I know from school and he says hello and asks if he can pet my dog. Of course! I say. And at that exact moment, while we are smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk, Sam decides to take a dump. A giant, green, smelly, nasty dump. As this kid is attempting the make nice and pet her. POOP.

Of course I didn't have any bags with me. So I tell the kid we have to go, turn around take her home, leave her there, get some bags, go back, clean up the crap, turn around and walk home with my little bag of dog poop. I think my pride was in there too.

So, if you want a dog that eats socks and pillows, craps on the sidewalk while you're trying to talk to someone, and gets you in trouble with the police, well then have I got the dog(s) for you!

Of course I'm only joking. Please don't go all ASPCA on my ass and think I'd really give you my dogs or get rid of them for being, well, dogs. I love them, but they sure do piss me off sometimes.

A Very Stinky Christmas

Yesterday Baby Stinky Pants came to spend the afternoon with me while mommy had her hair did and daddy was golfing. She's 18 months now, and at a really cute and fun age. It's been awhile since I've posted any pictures of her, so I will let these speak for themselves.

Chillin' on the couch, laughing at The Cowboy.

(Note: please disregard all the dog hair on the couch and don't judge. Our husky, Aggie, sheds her coat twice a year and she's in full on shed mode right now. And yes, we let our dogs sit on the couch and lay in the bed. More like they let us sit on the couch and lay in the bed with them.)

Cheese!

Help! She's fallen and she can't get up.

Posing by the tree. (Her mom said they couldn't get a good picture of her for a Christmas card. They obviously didn't call me.)

She wouldn't let go of the Wii remote, in case you were wondering.

Looking like her daddy.

She's very curious about everything.

And now she has two Wii remotes.

Hope you are all having a wonderful holiday season and that all your plans, preparations and parties are in full swing!

Christmas Crafts and Creeps

The goose is getting fat, my friends. Only 15 days left, but more importantly, only 6 more days of school until I'm off for 2 weeks!! My shopping was minimal and, therefor, easy this year. I'm pretty much finished with it. The interior of the house is decorated and the exterior is half done. Hopefully the other half will be completed this evening. All that's left to do is send out my cards, make cookies, and finish up a few knitting projects and holiday crafts I'm working on as gifts for friends and co-workers.

Which brings me to my post today. I have a really quick, easy, cheap and cute craft idea that just about anyone can do for Christmas gifts. Here's a picture of the sample(s) I made for myself.

You can use any letters you want, to spell out anything you like. Obviously. I chose Noel. But you can do Joy, or Peace. You could do names. You could do dirty words. Hey, it's your craft. Do what you want.

Materials you will need:

Wooden letters. I got these bad boys at Hobby Lobby. They came in packs of 2 (so I got 1 package which had 2 "n"s in it, etc.). The CD is there to give you a size reference. You can do bigger letters if you want. I wouldn't recommend smaller, because the cutting will get tricky. You'll see.

Cost of letters: 99 cents per package, so about $4 for all 4 letters, which will make 2 NOELs.

Scrapbook Paper. I used a different print for each letter, but you could do all 4 the same, or 2 and 2, or whatever you want. Again. I'm just showing you the method. You can mix it up as you like.

Cost of scrapbook paper: between 59 and 99 cents a page. So your price will vary depending on how much you buy and how many patterns you buy. For a big piece of paper, you can probably

get all 4 letters on it. But I bought 8 pieces of paper (I'm making 4 sets of these), and I spent about $5.

Mod Podge. Have you tried this stuff yet? I love it. It's like glue, but better. You can use it to save puzzles after you've put them together. You can make magnets and all sorts of other stuff with it that I'm sure I have no idea about, as this was my first experience using Mod Podge. But it won't be my last, nossir.

Cost of Mod Podge: $5 - $8, depending on where you buy it. It's a big bottle, and I only used a little for this project, though. So it will last you for awhile. Also, you can choose between matte and glossy Mod Podge. I went with glossy.

Tools. Scissors, an Exacto knife, and a sponge brush.

Cost of tools: You should have scissors, the exacto knife cost me $2.99 (if you don't already have one) and the brushes came in a set of 6 for $2. If you're a crafter, you probably already have most of this stuff laying around your house anyway.

For finishing, you will need a hot glue gun and some ribbon. I happened to have both of these things already, so I don't know how much they cost. You can pick up a thing of ribbon for like 50 cents, and if you don't have a hot glue gun, then I don't know how to talk to you.

The How-To

Trace the letters onto the backside of the scrapbook paper. Please don't make the same mistake I did and trace them the wrong way (I only did this on one letter thank you very much). You obviously want to be looking at the right side of the paper when all is said and done, so when you trace, make sure you turn the wooden letter over as well, so that it's backwards when you're tracing it.

Additionally, every time I've tried to type "wooden" in this post, I've typed "wodden" instead. Wodden is not a word. But maybe it should be.

Cut the letter out, but leave a little room around the tracing. You will go back and trim this in a minute with the exacto.

Place the paper on the letter and make sure it fits so that you can't see any wood.

Now comes the Mod Podge!!!

Using the sponge, dab a light layer of MP onto the wooden letter. Place paper on top, and smooth with your hand, making sure there are no air bumps. It doesn't have to be aligned perfectly with the trace lines on the backside, but if you're anal like me, you can turn it over and make sure it is right.

Using the exacto knife, trim the excess paper from the sides. I find this works best if you have the letter scrapbook paper side down, and resting on a bed of newspaper. It does NOT work best just on a wooden table. Your exacto knife will not hesitate to slice right through that table. A little heads up, from me to you. It also helps to let the MP dry a bit first, but if you've used too much and it's slopped over the sides, then you might have clumps of MP to slice through also. Just do your thang.

Once all your letters are trimmed, apply another layer of MP to the top of your letters

(scrapbook paper side). Don't freak out that it comes out white. It will dry clear. It's magical. But don't use too much either. Just a nice glossy coat. Allow your letters to dry for about an hour or so before finishing.

I didn't get any pictures of the finishing process, but you will want to cut 1 piece of ribbon per letter. Make them all about the same length initially, and you can go back and trim them after you've glued them. Using your hot glue gun, glue the 2 ends of the ribbon on the back of the letters. Make sure you test each letter and ribbon length to make sure they're going to hang about the same length.

That's it! Total cost of project was around $15, and I am going to get 4 NOELs out of it, so 3 gifts! You're done and you have a simple, homemade Christmas gift for anyone on your list.

Also makes a good gift for people named Leon.

Speaking of creepers named Leon, I bet a few of these guys are named Leon. This is my new favorite website. Please take a moment and check it out. 'Tis the season, and I promise you will laugh. And if you don't laugh, then I don't know how to talk to you.

www.sketchysantas.com