Friday, September 26, 2008

Chillin' with my Gnomies

Just when you thought I couldn't get any weirder (it's ok, go ahead and admit it, you think I'm a circus freak, and you're not entirely wrong), I have a confession for you today that will really push it over the edge. If you know me IRL, then you already know about my little collection (problem, obsession, all consuming need for) of Garden Gnomes.

I don't know when it started, or why, but I can't get enough. So today, because I'm feeling extra funky, I thought I'd go ahead and confess my obsession to you and introduce you to my posse of GnomeBoys.

We will begin with The Brothers - the first 3 gnomes I ever owned, given to me for Christmas one year by the Cowboy's parents.

There is Harold, holding his watering can, tending to the rosemary.

And Simon, holding his prized radish. Simon had a terrible fall 2 weeks ago. "Someone" was sweeping up the porch and knocked Simon over. He broke right in half, and his hat was shattered into many smaller pieces. I managed to put his 2 halves back together, but his hat is missing a big piece at the top. It was pretty bad carnage, and I choose not to show you a picture of the current Simon. This is him in his former, complete state.This is Nigel, also known as The Roaming Gnome. Last year some of my "friends" thought it would be hilarious to steal Nigel from my back yard and photograph him all over the country doing various things, and send me pictures and notes from him. Real funny stuff. I'm still laughing....... uh huh. Anyway, the kidnappers weren't the smoothest or most experienced, and they sent me the following picture of Nigel at the beach.
Look closely at the upper right hand corner of the photo. Notice anything written in the sand? Anything that resembles a name? Anything that resembles the name of a certain friend I have with awesome hair and a nickname that rhymes with testicle?
Nice try, Wes. You're gonna have to get up earlier than that to pull one off on ol' Caps, though. Nigel was returned safely and now resides in the guest bedroom of our house. He is no longer allowed to go outside, for fear he will take off.

This is Squeaky. He's the smallest of all my gnomes, and stands about 3 inches tall. Squeaky is my Gnitting Gnome, and lives in my stash box with all my yarns.
This is a terrible picture of Gerald. Gerald is the front door Gnome. He is attached to a "Welcome" sign that greets visitors when they come to our home.Dudley and Otis were a gift from a former student of mine, and are a rain gauge.
The Gno Evil Gnomes are named Huey, Louie and Dewy.This is Pappy, and he is taking a little gnap. Please don't disturb him.
Shhhh, speaking of sleeping, here is my old pal Chadwick, the Gnight Time Gnome, reading a bed time story to his buddy Gavin. Chadwick is currently on Sabbatical in Michigan, but he should be home for the holidays.This chap was also a gift from the Cowboy's parents. I love how they accept my complete quirkiness, and fully support it. He was a gift for my 30th birthday, and when I opened him at the party, I said "Oh, we will have to think of a good gname for him!". My friend Megan's little boy, Jacob (age 4) was there and he said "Santa!!!" I guess to a child, he does sort of resemble St. Gnick, so I went ahead and named him Santa Gnome.

Another birthday gift, this one from The Cuteness' parents, and his name is Barney. I made the mistake of putting him gnext to Pappy in the garden, and clearly, he got the impression that it's acceptable to do gnothing but sleep all the time.

And this fella here is the newest addition to my Gnomies. See how shiny and beautiful he is? I did that. I painted him myself. He was just a blank, white gnome until I came along and made him what he is today. He's a true work of art, don't you think? Because of that, he had to have an appropriate gname. So I'd like to introduce you to: Michaelangegnome. Mike will also be an indoor gnome.

Those are my boys! I don't have any girl gnomes, and I rarely see them. My boys don't gneed any distractions anyway.

I can assure you of several things. First, I gnever claimed to be gnormal. Second, these gnames that I just listed above were gnot made up for purposes of this blog. All of my gnomes are gnamed as soon as I bring them home. Third, gnow you (g)know what to get me for Christmas.

Hope you all have a great weekend!


Anonymous said...

Ahhhh they are all so cute. I heard about traveling Nigel;)

~ Reenie ~

noble pig said...

OMG the baby looking at him...absolutely priceless.

Anonymous said...

I love them! Thanks for not making me feel so weird, we have a collection of raccoon stuff. Weird ass raccoon stuff.

Charlene said...
here is a pattern to knit your own girl gnome... the best of both worlds!

wonder said...

Gotta wake up pretty early to pull one over on who????? Clearly lady you have forgotten how the case was cracked!

Caps said...

Shhhhhhhh it doesn't sound as cool if I admit that it was you, not I, who saw the "Wes" clue in the sand. Besides, I helped. I spotted D's flip flops in the other picture.

Lisa-tastrophies said...

OMG!! The title was too funny. Now I keep singing that song "Rolling with my Hommies" but instead I keep saying "Rollin' with my Gnomies". Thanks. I will be singing that one to myself all night.

P.s. I was looking for you on Ravelry. Girl, you got mad-knittin' skills!!
(I am going to try to go to The knitting Nest next weekend. ~I need a yarn fix ;-)

Sassitude said...

Gavin is enjoying Chadwick's company immensely. I will be bringing him indoors for fear of trick or treat Tomfoolery.
He will then be coming to Texas for the fall. He is not partial to the cold, but does enjoy Oberon.