Tales from the Toilet

Sometimes I come up with (what I think are) really funny or witty things to say on my blog. Like the other night, I was on the toilet (just keeping it real) and I thought of a funny way to begin this blog, and I thought to myself, "you better go and write this down so you don't forget about it tomorrow when you go to blog," and then of course I got caught up (not literally, thankfully) in whatever else I happened to be doing at that time (ahem), and I forgot. So here I am blogging and I have no idea what I was going to say that was going to be clever, and instead you're stuck reading about my Tuesday Toilet Adventures. I apologize.

I know I've been away for awhile. Truth is, I got an iPhone, and I said sayonara to the ol' computer. And also my friends. And I've kind of been slacking off at work too. The iPhone is AMAZING. And, ok, so I also have 2 jobs, which is totally kicking my ass. And, ok, so I am also literally getting my ass kicked at my first job, by children in crisis. It's been a very rough, busy, crazy couple of months. But I've missed you. Really, those aren't empty words. I've missed you. So here I am.

I wish I had something more exciting to write about. I've been busy knitting like crazy. I have orders for a bunch of random things for Christmas gifts, so when I'm not working, getting my butt kicked, thinking up blog ideas on the toilet, eating, sleeping, or playing with my phone, I'm knitting. Remember when I was rambling on about black people, and I said I was going to knit a beard as a joke for my friend's husband? Well......

Stupid sideways picture that I can't fix..... But check it out! I knit that! Me! With my hands! And some yarn! Weeeeeeeeee! I'm pretty damn proud of myself, so toot toot toot. Here's a picture of me modeling it.





















I made it for a friend of a friend who found a picture on the innerwebs and asked if I could do it. After researching for a pattern, I told her that I would. Fast forward 3 months (it took me a REALLY long time....) and there you have it. The pattern wasn't even that difficult, it just took some figuring out, and this is definitely the most complicated thing I've ever knit. But it was fun! And I shed a tear when I had to mail it off to it's owner. I will definitely be making one of these for me in the future! I wore it to school and freaked out all the kids. Good times, good times.

I've also been busy working on a few baby knits. This is Bella.

Her chubby. Her like the hat I made.

And my friend Melissa asked if I could knit up some mini-scarves to adorn a bottle of wine as a gift. Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

Mmmm, wine. And also? How cute is that? Instead of a little gift bag, just fancify your wine with a scarf! Only $4! On sale now....

So you can see, I've been busy. But I've got a few Christmas posts up my sleeve. And soon I'll be off for 2 glorious weeks. So when I'm not busy sleeping, eating, drinking, sitting on the toilet or playing with my iPhone, I promise to write more.