I have lots to say. First, I'd like to preface all my Idol commentary by saying that I didn't watch ANY Hollywood week shows, and I only saw a few audition shows. So most of the people I saw last night, and presumably in future shows, are fresh to my eyes and ears. I don't know their sob stories. I don't know much about them. I know what I saw and heard last night. And let me tell you. In some cases, it was not good. Not good.
And so I will begin. I will take them in the order they came last night and I will give you my candid, unscripted thoughts. If you don't agree with me, I'm sorry. Start your own blog. Feel free to express any opinions in my comments section.
Jackie Tohn (A Little Less Conversation) - Her singing was not good, but that's beside the point as far as I'm concerned. Freddy Mercury called and wants those pants back. They were the worst things I've ever seen. I wish I had a picture to go along with this, but I couldn't find one, and I didn't look very hard. However in my notes from last night I have the following written next to her name: pants - NO NO NO. Someone needs to throw those pants away, and while they're a it, grab her dad's hat and toss it with them. Freddy and Elvis are turning over in their graves, I'm sure. Her performance was annoying, her dance moves were ridiculous, and her belt and shoes don't even deserve mention. In summary, I did not like this chick. At all.
Ricky Braady (A Song For You) - AKA "Ears". Listen, when Idol is young and there are still a lot on contestants, I need nicknames to help me remember who is who. This guy is Ears. And I'm pretty sure Ears won't be around after tonight, so I don't feel bad not remembering his name. Or his performance. During the replay of the evening (at the end of the show), I thought it didn't sound as bad as when I heard it the first time around, but still I thought he was forgettable. I don't think he stands out, vocally or personality-wise, and at this early stage, that's a lot of what gets you through to the next round. I did appreciate the fact that he was rocking the velvet jacket, though. Thumbs up for that, Ears.
Alexis Grace (Never Loved a Man) - For starters, I'm not a fan of the pink hair, generally speaking, but hey, it makes her stand out, and because of that I'm not going to comment on her outfit, which I also did not find appropriate, except for in the boudoir. Appearances aside, however, I am a big fat sucker for a bluesy, gritty, soulful white girl voice, and this chick had it. She is a little thing with a big voice, and I thought her singing was great. I will go ahead and say that I think she was the best female vocal of the evening and based strictly on that, she should advance. I'm not sure she will, though.
Brent Keith (Hicktown) - "Dimples". Hey, I want to live the country boy. I want to like the guy with the dimples and the cute smile. I want to like him, he seems like a nice guy. But is performance was just OK. Not bad, not at all. But not great either. Very unoriginal, very much like the radio version of that song. I'm not saying this guy wouldn't make a good artist, but for American Idol, he just doesn't stand out. Sorry Dimples. I tried.
Stevie Wright (You Belong With Me) - Going into Tuesday's performances, Stevie was one of the people I had seen in auditions, and knew that I liked. I like a young girl who isn't all made up and malllish and can sing. I like that she was named after Stevie Nicks. I like that she doesn't have a big head about her yet. I was really pulling for this girl. In my notes about her, I composed a little poem (unintentionally). It goes like this: bad bad bad, not good. so sad. Who the hell let her pick that song? Who heard her rehearsing that and let her get on stage with it? It didn't suit her, she couldn't sing it well, it was too young for her, I don't care how old she is. Her voice is better than that song. I am really disappointed by her performance. Syonara, Stevie.
Anoop Desai (Angel of Mine) - Noop Dog. I will level with you. If I had to pick an American Idol right now, based on whatever criteria I choose, I will choose the Noopster. I love him. And I think it's high time that he have an Indian American Idol. And that mangina Sanjaya doesn't count. Sure, his performance last night wasn't all that great. But it wasn't BAD. It just didn't show his vocal range and personality as good as some of his earlier songs had. Such as the 1989 Bobby Brown cult-classic "My Prerogative". But you know what? It was Noopy's prerogative to sing whatever he wanted to sing last night. He can live his life. No one can tell him what to do. Cause what he be doing, he's doing for you.
Casey Carlson (Every Little Thing She Does is Magic) - AKA "Amy Winehouse Hair". She's not sporting it in the above pic, but she was last night. You know what else she was sporting last night? Porn face. Seriously, did you see some of the looks on her face while she was singing? Painful. I didn't care for her performance, but I will say that at times, I could hear a bit of a good voice peeking through her shit bag of a song. No disrespect to Sir Sting and The Police.
Michael Sarver (I Don't Wanna Be) - Another early favorite of mine, and I don't feel like he fell flat on his ass like Stevie did. I thought some of the judges were a bit rough on him, and that he rocked the song out, he connected with it, and it was a solid, good performance. I think he's gotten enough air time, and has a certain like-ability about him, that he may be able to pull through a pass to the next round, but his vocals surely weren't the best of the evening. Also, he's from Texas. So I gotta root for the local boy.
Ann Marie Boskovich (Natural Woman) - I liked this girl from the auditions. I think she's really beautiful, and though I'm not a lesbian, I would like to kiss her a little bit. I'm only half joking. I was disappointed in her performance, mostly because I felt like that song was way too big for her voice. She has a nice voice. She should have picked a song that suited it better. Ann Marie, if things don't work out, call me.
Stephen Fowler (Rock With You) - A brother can't get a break. I thought the judges were way too hard on him. Ok I will admit that his song choice had a lot to do with why I loved it so much. Ok I will admit that while he was singing, I was waving my hands in the air, a la Paula Abdul. I am a sucker for some old school Michael Jackson. But also I didn't think his performance was "corny" as Simon said. I do think this guy is a soulful singer, and hope in the future he chooses better songs that showcase that. But I was a fan of this performance.
Tatiana Del Toro (Saving All My Love For You) - Does anyone actually like this girl? I mean seriously. Besides her parents and those two yahoos she paid to pretend to be her friends last night. Does anyone in America really like her? Will anyone vote for her? It matters not whether she can sing (which she both can and can't, she's inconsistent), because she's totally completely over the top annoying and obnoxious. Haven't we all, as a people, learned our lessons about picking Whitney Houston songs? You don't do it. You leave well enough alone. I can't imagine anyone will vote for her. I really can't.
Danny Gokey (Hero) - Is this the guy whose wife died? Is this the guy I'm supposed to feel sorry for? Really, if his wife did die, I do feel bad for him. I'm honestly wondering. Is this him? I don't know. I thought he was the best male vocal of the evening, and I hate that song. HATE IT. But he broke it down. This kid can sing.
So, my picks to advance would be (based on performances and best vocals): Pink Hair, Dead Wife and Noop Dog. I wish I could pick more, but if I have to choose 3, I choose them.
I'd like to add at this point, that I wrote all of the above earlier in the day and didn't get a chance to post. Idol has since aired. I have not seen it, and do not know the results. I will go review the DVR as soon as I hit publish.
Until next week.....