Oh, and Steve (from the title) = me. That's another story for another day. So here we go.
1. I have never seen one episode of The Simpsons
2. Whenever I go to buy gas, or am leaving a tip at a restaurant, the total HAS to be a rounded dollar. If I am pumping as and it stops at $12.01, I will go up to $13.00 if possible. If not, $12.50. Same with leaving a tip. I don't think I am the only one who does this.
3. I bruise like a peach, and am a total klutz. My legs and arms are always covered in bruises. Sometimes I like to tell people "he had to tell me twice". It's not always funny. In fact, domestic violence is never funny. But sometimes my jokes are.
4. I don't like people touching my feet. At all. Ever. When I go get pedicures, I have to have several drinks prior. And I still giggle and laugh like an idiot.
5. I do not care for Pierce Brosnan. "Hate" is a strong word. But you get what I'm saying.
6. I have read all of the Harry Potter books at least 3 times. I'm sure I will read them all again someday.
7. I live near arguably the best city in this country for live music (Austin, TX) and I rarely go downtown. It's a shame.
8. I've never seen the movie Mary Poppins. I've discussed this before on my blog, and I still haven't bothered to watch it. I guess I don't really think I'm missing anything.
9. If you clicked on the Mary Poppins link and read that post, you would have seen another confession of mine at the bottom of the page: I don't like pizza. This shocks people to no end. I kept it a big secret for many years, because people would literally be dumbfounded when I told them. Still are. I guess I need to do an entire blog dedicated to my distaste for pizza. There is a story to be told there. And a little bit of redemption for me.
10. Two things will always make me laugh, no matter how old I get. Farts and falling. I'm sorry. It's always going to be funny when someone falls down (unless, of course, they're seriously hurt, but for that one split second before I find out that they cracked their skull, I'm going to laugh - sorry, just keepin' it real), and it's always going to be funny when someone farts.
11. I love cheesy 70s and 80s pop/rock music like REO Speedwagon, Chicago, Air Supply, Queen, Styx, Journey.
12. I believe in aliens. Not in a creepy sense (if that's possible), but in the sense that I think it's pretty arrogant of us humans/earthlings to believe that we are the ONLY species out there. It's a pretty darn big galaxy, and there's a lot more out there that I'm sure we don't know about. I believe that somewhere, somehow there are other living organisms of some sort. Do I think they're tiny little green men in spacesuits with large glassy black eyes and fly in saucers? No. But I do think there's something out there.
13. And for that matter, I think our government knows more than they tell us.
14. I went streaking once in January. This was years ago, up in Michigan. The weather was unseasonably warm, and some friends and I went streaking on the golf course at the country club.
15. I'm terrified of Canadian Geese.
16. Despite that, I'd love to live in Canada. God's Country up there. It's so beautiful and clean up there. The people are so nice and friendly and talk so funnily! The beer is strong and delicious, and they love hockey and curling, 2 of the best sports. It's a shame it's so damn cold there. I don't do cold.
17. I talk to my dogs like they are people, and I use voices to carry on their halves of the conversations. They're my best friends.
18. I know all the words to "American Pie" by Don McLean.
19. If I were going to go lesbian (and I'm not, but IF I were), here's the short list: Elisabeth Shue, Ashley Judd, Rachel McAdams, Michelle Obama.
20. You know how people ask if you're a morning person, or an evening person? I'm pretty sure I'm neither. I'm tired in the morning, and I'm tired in the evening. Should I be alarmed? My best hours are between 9 and 3. Anything before or after that and I'm essentially worthless.
21. Olive Garden commercials very much displease and annoy me to no end.
22. I love to make and re-make lists. Can you tell?
23. I'm obsessed with all things Vera Bradley.
24. Chewbacca was my first love. If you know this story, consider yourself amongst my closest friends.
25. I always check the backseat of my car when I get in. You never know who might be hiding back there. A murderer waiting to attack? Jason Bateman waiting to propose marriage? Ed MacMahon with a big check? Wait, is Ed MacMahon dead? Rest in Peace.
26. I hate smoking, smoke, smokers. I think my mom thinks I used to secretly smoke. Many years ago she found a pack of cigarettes in my purse. They were my boyfriend's. I tried explaining that to her, but she didn't believe me. MOTHER, LISTEN HERE. I'm 32 years old and have no reason to lie to you. Those cigarettes were Matt's! Not mine!
27. My biggest pet peeve is when people say "supposably". That's not a word, geniuses.
28. I used to want to convert to Judaism, and I was obsessed with All Things Jewish.
29. I took classical violin lessons for many years. I used to be pretty good, but these days I suck. I wish I'd kept up with it.
30. I've had so many nicknames over the years, I've lost track. Among my favorites are: Cake, Caps, The Chip and the latest - Trash Bag.
31. I have a pillow named Norma that I've had since I was a small child, and I have a hard time sleeping without it.
32. I like to cook, and think I'm pretty darn good at it. This was not always the case. Once, years and years ago (over 10), my Aunt Suz and I were supposed to be in a cooking contest against each other. She's a notoriously bad cook also. My uncles had set up a whole plan, and were planning on judging whose cooking was better. The contest was to take place in January. Then, Christmas rolled around. My food assignment for that year was the make an appetizer. Suz's was to make a dessert. This was not part of the contest, mind you, but simply what we were supposed to bring to my mom's house for Christmas dinner. I wowed and dazzled my family with a delicious sausage appetizer thingy (which my cousin affectionately named "Arf Loaf"), and Suz showed up with a bag of Mini-Snickers. FOR CHRISTMAS DESSERT. The contest was called off. I was declared the winner by default, and Suz is now asked to bring paper products and ice to family gatherings.
So there you have it! A little glimpse into the batshitcraziness that is me. It's good to be back.