Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sew What?

Here is a (relatively) recent picture of Baby Stinky Pants.

The reason I post this is 3 fold.

1) I haven't posted a picture of her in a long time, and I thought you all might be curious to see how frick fracking cute she's getting (and crawling!)....

2) It's my blog and I'll post whatever the hell I want...

3) Baby Stinky Pants' mom (Christy) and I took a sewing class last month, and the fruits of that class will be the subject of my blog today. But I thought I'd start it off with a cute baby picture. Also, I have not forgotten about The Cuteness, and I will make sure to post a recent picture of her in an upcoming blog. You will all crap your pants when you see how big she's gotten.

Sew anyway.....(wakka wakka) Christy and I took a sewing class a few weeks back. The Cowboy bought me a sewing machine for Christmas (bless his little heart, he didn't get me jewelry or a nice Caribbean vacation, he bought me a sewing machine), and I figure I'd better learn to use the darn thing. Actually, I was pretty excited. And actually, he did buy me an iPod touch for Christmas as well. And actually, he also bought me the laptop I am using to write this blog as we speak for no apparent reason a few weeks ago. So really I guess I should shut up. Besides, I love the sewing machine.

The sewing class itself was marginally informational. The instructor was a little crazy, and I feel like she rushed through a lot of things that may be important later on. We had to buy all these extra feet for our machine, and we didn't end up using 2 or 3 of them. And some of them were on the pricey side. And when I say pricey, I mean upwards of $4.00. But listen, I'm not made of money. And while I do feel like I have a better understanding of my machine and what to do with it in certain situations, you will see later in this blog that she did not teach me all that I feel I need to know to move forward. Not to mention the fact that the finished product of that class is a giant piece of crap.

Exhibits A and B.

It's supposed to be a "cosmetic bag". I wish you could see this thing in person. These pictures make it look cute. I assure you, it's not.
But I would not be deterred. My Lady (who doesn't blog any more either, but I still linked her, just for shits and gigs) gave me a very easy pattern for a bag, made by sewing 2 dish towels (yes, dish towels!) together. I made one last weekend and fell in love with it. Since then I've dropped nearly $50 on dishtowels, and that is not an exaggeration. I've made 5 total, and have enough towels to make about 5 more. Check em out.

The Purple One. The first one I made. It's nice, but they get better. For one, I lengthened the handles on all the other ones. And my seams got straighter too. The bottom part of the bag (in this case, the stripey part) is pockets. There are 4 pockets total. 2 in front, 2 in back.

The Green One. You can see the longer straps. Now, hold onto your pants because they are about to start getting REALLY cute.

The Multi Colored One. I KNOW. Believe me. My arm was sore after I made this one from patting myself on the back.

The Blue and Brown Ones. I'm out of words for my craftiness.

I'm telling you, after I made these bags, I was on top of the world. Sew, I decided that I wanted to tackle another project. Something bigger. Something more difficult. I knew I could do it. Hell, I can put 2 dish clothes together and sew them up in a few places. What can't I do?

Sew, apparently.
My next project? An apron. Simple, cute, right? The pattern even promised to be easy.

"Simplicity". Simple my ass.

I bought the cutest fabric.

Don't you love the apple and pear fabric? Wouldn't I look adorable in a apron made out of it? Well it ain't gonna happen unless I take that piece of material and belt it around myself. I am completely lost. Why? Because, oh yeah, we didn't actually learn how to READ A PATTERN in my sewing class. Sew how am I actually supposed to sew anything? It's like some sort of special magical language they speak in these patterns. I got this far only because the nice girl at JoAnn Etc. explained to me how to tell how much fabric was needed, and how to lay it out. Sew I was able to lay it out,

and cut it.

But from here I really have no idea what to do next. I read and re-read the pattern and I am at a total and complete loss. So please, if anyone has any idea what to do next, please help me. Please. I want an apron so bad.
I have nothing to sew now. So I guess I'll enjoy the roses. Straight from our garden. Hope you all had a good weekend!


Anita O said...

Oh man, is stalking the crazy sewing teacher legal? Hang out with the pattern and the fabric, then shove it in her face and scream WhYYYY???


I love your cute little bags. Dishtowels, huh? The kind that come like 4 or 5 in a pack at Wal-Mart?

I wish I could help you finish your apron, but I can't sew (yet). Good luck on that one!

Lisa-tastrophies said...

Oh girl, I can soooo help you read a pattern. My mom wand grandmother sewed Haute Couture, so I grew up around the sewing machine. I can't sew more than simple pants, shirts and dresses, but I can make my way through it. Call me and we can have a sew-sew party :-)
Plus, what does a girl have to do to beg for that too cute circle pattern bag! Those are great for holding (knitting) works in progress. Now you can have one bag for each project!! LOVE IT!
E-mail me the pattern/instructions for the bag if you get a chance.
P.s. only 41 more days of school :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Cathy! It's nice to chuckle over the blog again.You do know somebody who knows what the ....."heck" they're talking about. I'd be glad to "hep" (how's that for southern?) If you don't find anyone closer who can assist "hands on" let me know. You could e-mail me an instruction and I'll send back the translation. The towel bags are really cute! Nancy Nuggs

Anonymous said...

What the hell! What about poor little Sydney. Just because we moved away doesn't mean you have to forget all about her. I told her that you didn't mention her name and she started crying saying...'My Auntie Catherine doesn't love me any more!'. Anyway...just know that we still love you. :)

Reenie said...

OMG Cappy those bags are so cute. I'll take the one with circles on it. Too cute! =)

Cute pic too of BST.

Charleney said...

now that I am a crochet-er, I want one of those bags for my wares...