Thursday, May 15, 2008

I have seen the light

I almost died last night. For reals, y'all. I saw the baby Jesus come to take me home. Sort of. I mean, it could have happened.

Last night was a perfectly lovely evening to begin with. My belly was full of Mexican food, and I was left to my own devices for watching the results show of American Idol (more on that later) and then perhaps a bit of reading, or knitting. I really need to get off my lazy ass and finish that baby blanket for Sara, since that baby is a-coming next week if not sooner. But anyway....last night. So I watch Idol, enjoying some friendly back and forth banter, via Text Message, with some of my Idol cohorts (you know who you are), and when it's over, the local news starts.

Top story on the news is the weather. The clouds had been black all day, on and off rain, big red radar blobs on the TV. News anchors warning us how to take cover. A tormado was coming.

"Tormado" is what I used to call a tornado when I was little. I also used to say "anTANuh" for antenna. Sometimes I still do.

So yeah, the weather was bad. BAD. But I dig a thunderstorm, and it makes me want to curl up and read even more than usual. And I'm reading a vampire book, so I figure a good t-storm is prime condition for a little blood sucking action. It was going to be ON at my house.

I get up and am going to start doing a little picking up, putting away dishes, etc. La la la. La.

*tap. Tap.*
*tap-tap.*
*taptaptaptaptap*
*TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP*
*TAP TAP TAP TAP*
*BOOM*
*TAP TAP BOOM*
*TAP BOOM*
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Well you get it. Or maybe not. The taps are the hail and the booms are the thunder. There was lightening too, but there isn't a good descriptive word for that. Probably because it doesn't make sound.
So I'm all "Hmm, what's that noise?" And I look outside and it's a crazified, full on hail storm. I text my mom, "Hey mom," I say, "It's hailing like crazy here."

I guess there wasn't enough urgency in my writing because she writes back "Hail, hail, the gang's all here."

Hilarious mom. I might die and you're making jokes. Awesome. So I say to myself, I say, "I'm going to prove to her that I am in dire peril. I will take a picture of this Monster Hail."




<-------------- Monster Hail









"That'll show her", I thought defiantly. And then I ran and hid under the covers of my bed and cowered like a baby.

Thank you to all of my friends who sent me TMs to make sure I was ok. All both of you really helped me through the hard times. To make a long story longer, Blain eventually came home to find me hidden under a pile of blankets and clutching to my cell phone. The Monster Hail eventually died down, no tormadoes were reported to have touched down in our area, and the Great Storm of 2008 just reduced to a heavy rain, which the flowers in my garden needed anyway, since I'm so darn lazy. So it all worked out in the end and everyone was happy. Except this poor bastard.


















Ouch.
(this picture wasn't actually taken by me, or even anywhere near where I live. I have to give credit to my friend Marlene for it.)

In other news, even though I feel that American Idol is a total Sham. And also, a Ripoff. I would still like to plug my fave.

Go David Cook!!
Oh yeah, and what was that whole Fantasia thing about? I am still confused about that. So much so that I don't even have anything witty to write about it. That was ridiffiluss.

1 comment:

nettles said...

This is the best blog story EVER!!! If I had known that you were under a hail attack, I would have text you. Maybe you should consider moving to TN. Just sayin'.....