Cousins, Real and Fake

We must go backwards in order to go forwards. (that is a shout out to my friend Marce). This will be a Big Fat Blog, a combination of several blogs that I had planned for this past week, all rolled into one. Lucky you! I shall call it Big Fat Blog Friday (BFBF).

So, way way way back last Thursday (as in not last night, but a week ago last night), back when my eye was normal sized and not infected, my "Fake" cousin Mike came to town with his girlfriend. They live in Illinois. He is my "fake" cousin because our mothers are best friends, and as children we were all told to call them "Aunt" and "Uncle". These people are not my relations. But that doesn't mean they aren't a hoot.

Here we are, me and Mike. My face is red because of the sunburn, and also because I'd had a few cold pops.
Seriously? This kid is my kind of people. I love him. We (Mike, his girlfriend, the Cowboy and I) had dinner and then proceeded to hit up a few bars on 6th street. It was kind of a slow night, so we had to make our own fun. Hilarity ensued. Seriously, my face hurt from laughing so damn hard all night.

Seriously.

What's up with me saying seriously?

Seriously.

Oh. This is Mike's lovely lady, Linda. She has some sweet dance moves.
See what I'm talking about? Man, I wish I could dance like that.

I wish I could post the rest of the pictures that we took, but they are borderline inappropriate, and also, Mike and Linda are teachers, and I'm thinking they don't want said pictures floating around on the interwebs. There is this one though. It's decent, if not a wee bitty bit off center. Perhaps taken towards the end of the evening.

Good times, good times. You may be noticing the absence of any pictures of The Cowboy. He was being his usual uncooperative self that night.

Moving on to real cousins (not that I don't love Mike and everything, but hey blood is thicker than water, but we didn't drink any water that night, I can tell you for damn sure, but I'm getting off subject again)....

My cousin Ashley flew down to Dallas for a visit last weekend. She is 14 going on 30 and I hadn't seen her for nearly 2 years. Which was way too long. All of a sudden, she is a Young Woman. I almost started crying when I saw her at the airport.

She is a way cooler teenager than I ever was at 14. Man, those were awkward times.

We spent Saturday at a water park in Dallas, which is where I suspect I picked up my friend Staph.

Sunday, we went to a really cool place called Fossil Rim. It's a Wildlife Reserve, and we took a guided tour (like a safari) and saw all mess of neat animals. I can't remember all the animal names, so bear with me. If I don't know, I'm just going to fake it.

I'm fairly sure this one was called a Blackbuck. It's native to the Sahara. Check out dem horns! They could really eff your shiz up! (Hey, on the Blackbuck/native talk, did I sound like I knew what I was talking about? Cause I have no idea.)

This is Some Sort Of Deer. It may even be a regular old Deer like you see on the side of the road (they did have some), I don't know. I just thought he was cute. I liked his spots.

Zebras are really cool looking up close, but they are aggresive and mean. We were told not the hand feed the zebras, so what's the first thing Ashley does? Hand feed a zebra. Thankfully that zebra was more interested in eating the Scooby Snacks provided to us by the Ranch, and not Ashley's hands. 14 year olds are stubborn creatures.

This is Another Kind of Deer. Official name, of course. I like this picture because he was in the middle eating a handful of food I gave him.

The Giraffes were probably my favorite animal that we saw there. They were just so serene and beautiful. And we even got to hand feed them. It was a pretty cool experience.

This little guy was hanging around while we were feeding the giraffes. He is A Third Kind of Unidentified Deer, and he had a tag on his ear that said "509". I felt bad for him, because everyone was oohing and aahing over the giraffes, and feeding them all their Scooby Snacks, and poor 509 wasn't getting any attention. So I gave him a handful of treats.

Check out these two idiots.

I have no idea what this is, but it looks like a goat, no? I call him Raymond. I love his little patch of brown hair on his head. It's like a little toupe.

As some of you may or may not be aware, I have a not-so-secret fear of All Things Beaked. It stems from the Canadian Goose (those things are MEAN and will attack you), stretches out to the mighty and beautiful (yet terrifying) peacock, and encompasses even innocent farm animals such as chickens and ducks. If it has a beak, I believe it will not hesitate to peck out my eyes. So you can imagine my fear of this beast. It's a Six Foot Tall Bird With Beak (Ostrich).

We were allowed to feed these guys as well, although we just laid the food out on the side of the bus and then ran screaming like a little baby to the back as they approached. What? That's what everyone on the bus did. Not just me. Man! These things can eat. All they care about is more food (and pecking my eyes out).

Despite my total, all encompassing fear of the ostrich, I actually think that they are kind of cool to look at, especially in these pictures where I know that they are miles away from me and can't get to me or my eyes (my eyes can't take any more abuse, y'all).

The safari was really cool, and we saw lots of other animals (rhinos, cheetahs and wildebeest -oh my!- to name a few), but a lot of my pics didn't turn out because they were taken from so far away.

It was great to see my cousins last weekend!

And I hope everyone has a good weekend!