Secret Asian Man

When I was a wee child, no more than 5 years of age, I used to have a crush. I already had my husband all picked out. I was going to marry this man.

Johnny Reeeevers.

You know Johnny Reeeevers. The Secret Asian Man.

What? That's not the name of the song? Coulda fooled me. Next time you hear that song on the radio, have a listen.

What? They don't play that song on the radio anymore? Ah, that's sad. I'm sorry Johnny Reeeevers. Here, follow this link to the youtube video. Listen and tell me it doesn't sound like he's saying "Secret Asian Man". And furthermore, isn't my future husband a total fox?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo3Wqf86N4w

What? You don't think he's a fox? Johnny Reeeevers? I don't know why not.

Legend has it that as a child, there was a commerical that used to come on TV for Johnny Rivers' Greatest Hits Album (what? he had more than one great hit?). And I used to stand in front of the telly and dance and sing and tell my mother and father that when I got older I was going to marry Johnny Reeeevers. And I said it just like that. Reeeevers. And whenever that commercial came on, I would squeal like a pig and say "Look Mommy!! Johnny REEEEEVERS is on TV! I love Johnny REEEEVERS!"

25 years later and I'm still single. No ring on this finger. Not that anybody is keeping track or anything. But if they were keeping track.....yep. No ring. Just looked.

So, Secret Asian Man. Call me.